Just 12 days before the Detroit Free Press Marathon and I have to say that I am truly ecstatic. For the first time in months, I am truly looking forward to this experience. I am feeling more confident than ever that I CAN tackle this goal of mine.
Experiencing numerous peaks and valleys during the past four months of training, my enthusiasm for running my first marathon has slightly wavered. Some moments I am bursting at the seams with excitement for October 17th, while other times, I think I just want to throw in the towel. Well, I apologize now for my oscillation. Suffering a knee injury for the second time in a row during my marathon quest has really put a damper on my self-confidence and my overall zest for this endeavor. Okay, call me a quitter but there have been times when I simply want to give up. The sacrifices have appeared to outweigh the benefits. My training regime has been overwhelming and even annoying at times. Running, stretching, strengthening, eating, resting; running stretching, strengthening, eating, resting; and running, stretching...!!! Do you see the monotony of it all? Can you understand my plight?!?! Despite this fluctuation between love and hate for running my first marathon, I have continued the journey. Okay, okay!! I confess...at times, it has been with indifference.
Thankfully, this past weekend changed my apathetic attitude. One race put it all into perspective. On Sunday, October 3rd, I ran my 2nd half marathon, the Brooksie Way. It had been over three months since I had run any races and almost four months since I ran my first half marathon. Like any race, I was feeling quite anxious the night before and concerned about the pending weather conditions predicting rain with cold temperatures in the low 40's. Nonetheless, I followed my pre-race routine of veggie deep dish pizza for dinner, stretching, meditation, and checking all of my race gear. On the morning of race day, my fiance and I woke up around 4:30a.m. to head to the race site. We arrived at the race shortly after 7:00a.m. to gloom and chilly temperatures. In case you were wondering, cold and dark doesn't make for ideal race conditions. However, I fought the negativity and tried to stay optimistic about my second attempt at a half marathon. While there was a small part of me hoping to reach a PR, the larger part of me simply wanted to finish the race and gain confidence about running the Detroit marathon in just two weeks. As we got closer to the start of the race, the clouds faded and the sun appeared. My fiance and our Yorkie, Sylvester, provided their usual hugs and kisses for good luck and I headed to the start line.
The race began and I took off with the crowd. The temperature was chilly and the winds were blowing. However, the sun was still shimmering and I was merely thankful for no rain. Within the first mile, I felt a sudden urge to go to the bathroom even though I had gone twice in the last 50 minutes. I fought off the urge and continued running, managing to avoid bathroom breaks for the entire run. (I realize now that this must be nervous energy.) So, the first six miles I felt pretty good as I ran through the streets and some trails. Around mile seven, I encountered the infamous hills of the course. I felt myself slowing down slightly, but I still managed to maintain a fairly decent pace. The next three miles were challenging as I continued to face hills and even a dirt road. Through it all, I felt confident about my running ability and I carried the torch all the way to the finish line...
Throughout the race, I reminisced about my last half marathon and the struggles that I experienced during that event. The last three miles seemed unbearable and I hardly had the strength to carry on. I even stopped to walk a couple of times along with a pause for a bathroom break. However, the Brooksie was atypical. The last three miles I felt stronger and faster than ever. I was amazed at my endurance, speed, and more importantly my confidence in running. I felt like a runner. I believed that I could do it...
As I faced the obstacles of the course, I thought about the months of training preceding this race, all of the early mornings logging in miles when I rather be sleeping, all of the strength training workouts at the gym and at home when I rather be spending time with my family and friends, all of the stretching before bed each night when I really just want to curl up with a good book, and all of my attempts to follow a well-rounded diet when really I just want to indulge in Mike and Ikes and all of my favorite treats. So when it was all said and done, the benefits did outweigh the sacrifices...
Just earlier that week, I had hit a running milestone of running 150 miles in one month, a feat I had yet to accomplish. Consequently, I was already on a runner's high as I started the race. This enhanced my confidence and elevated my overall positivity for that day. I also knew that after this race, I would be achieving another landmark of running 45 miles in one week...
Yes, I have been running for years but sometimes I simply doubt myself and my capabilities as a runner. I become overwhelmed with feelings of anxiety and fear and I lose sight of my goal. I simply give up rather than finding the tenacity to push through and carry on. These past months, I held on and I refused to let go...I was amazed at the outcome.
Well, to kill the anticipation and to end the story, I finished the race with negative splits and a final time of 1:47:58. Five minutes faster than my last half marathon, I set a PR for this event. I wish I could provide adequate descriptors to illustrate how I felt as I crossed the finish line. I reckon there are some moments that you just have to experience...
To sum it all up, I walked away feeling more confident than ever about running my first marathon and my overall ability as a runner. Feelings of pride, modesty, self-assurance, and gratitude overcame me. I thought to myself, "this is what running is all about." I was extremely thankful for the experience. I was thankful for my health and strength. I was also thankful for my wonderful partner who supports my goals unconditionally and allows me to make so many running sacrifices...
